The Oshkosh West Index - Friends, family remember the light during a time of darkness

Volume 106, Issue 1

Online Features

Friends, family remember the light during a time of darkness

By Trisha Himmler
posted September 26, 2009

Rare is the high school student who seriously considers mortality. Teenage life is, by its very nature, defined by adventure, excitement and false dreams of immortality. For 2010 seniors, this false reality has forever been altered as a beloved friend, classmate and companion was taken far too early. Alexa Dullum, affectionately known by all as Ali, died as a result of a rollover car accident on Saturday, September 19 on the outskirts of Berlin. Friends and family continue to mourn her loss, but the memories of her humor, her courage and her life continue to live on.

For senior Sarahi Martinez, Dullum brought light and comfort through her personality.

"It is hard to sum up the years I have known Ali," she said, "but I will always remember her smile and the way she always made me laugh when I was around her."

Fellow senior Alex Engel likewise appreciated Dullum's encouragement, and her flair for the original.

"Ali was the most unique and creative person I have ever known. She always knew how to make us laugh, no matter what," he said. "For my birthday she had made me a fantastic card with exactly 11 shirtless muscular men pasted onto it; there wasn't even a reason for it, she just thought it was amazing. Just the random things she did and said would brighten my day."

Even getting lost could be an adventure, according to senior Arin Simon.

"Ali was up for anything. One time, Kaci Culver and I decided to go to the baseball game in Appleton," she remembered. "We called Ali and she was up for it so we grabbed her GPS for a quick road trip. We got horribly lost and we finally got there once it was over but the ride was so much better and worth it. I remember we thought the squirrels were attacking us."

For senior Kevin Pontius, Dullum's influence helped to form and change life in many ways and fashions.

"I remember when Ali, Liz, Kaci and I all went to a Motion City Soundtrack concert. Before we left, they sculpted my hair into a Mohawk (Ali had such a strange fascination with them)," he said. "It was such an awesome concert; I will always miss her. Every quirky bit of Ali was one that you had to love. She was a person who was outgoing and full of personality. If it weren't for her, I don't think I would be who I am now."

Even an educational excursion could be radically enhanced with a little touch of Dullum, according to senior Kaci Culver.

"Ali and I went to the Milwaukee Public Museum and we saw a kid dressed up like Toad from Mario and we stalked the kid the whole time, all over the museum," she said. "Then when he started getting scared we ran the opposite way but we still followed him till we left. I'll miss her so much, with her ridiculous obsession with mustaches. She will always be one of my best friends."

Senior Carolina Mulvey will miss a trusted confidant.

"Ali always would drive me home and we would talk about basically everything and nothing," she said. "I was always so comfortable talking to her."

Senior Jon Michels, who knew Dullum since grade school, remembers a wind-tossed birthday mission.

"There are so many memories that Ali and I shared together since elementary school. The best time we had was getting together with Sarah and Katie to find Skyler a present," he said. "I will never forget when she first came to pick me up and she was so proud that I had tried new things. We ended up getting some glitter stuff and tried to wrap his present outside the Factory Card Outlet while the wind was blowing everything away. Once we got to the party I remember Skylar opening it and throwing glitter all over Ali."

Although a distraction, Dullum also brought life to a sophomore tradition, according to senior Danielle Stadler.

"Ali was always good for going to AP review sessions and talking most of the time instead of paying attention," she said. "Then, there was the occasional ride home where we would just drive around her neighborhood and talk about random things."

Senior Angie Hayes will miss finding diamonds in the rough with Dullum.

"While thrift shopping with Trisha and I over spring break, Ali impulsively bought a hamster figurine; complete with ghetto hat and sunglasses," she said. "Her intension was to bestow it on someone for her family's secret Santa. She bought him without batteries to see if the button on him made him sing. Although she can't extend her rays of sunshine on him now, I hope she got a chance to put batteries in him."

Senior Amiey Ryckman respected Dullum's integrity.

"To me, Ali was an extremely inspirational person. She had her own unique style and never seemed to care about what other people thought of it," she said. "She was one of those girls you could walk up to, ask a question, and no matter how complicated the answer, you would get a straight forward and honest response."

Dullum could enhance any day, even surgically, according to senior LIz Tappy.

"One time when we were at her house we had a sleep over and ended up drinking pineapple-orange-banana juice from concentrate. We ended up with nothing to do but boredom doesn't last long when you're with Ali," she said. "She decided we should go into her bathroom and pierce my ear. She did it with a tapestry needle and I ended up bawling. Then she asked me to pierce her lip and I did. She didn't even cry. Her mom figured out what had happened a week later so Ali had to take the stud out but I still have the same earring she shoved in my ear that day."

Mulvey has her own style moment.

"I remember when she dyed just one section of her hair pink and then the hair was fried and after the dye wore out she had an obscene and random strip of whiter hair behind her ear that I would always make fun of her for," she said.

Senior Katie Bachleitner recalls a leg wound that turned into a special day.

"Ali, always the world's most graceful person, stabbed herself in the leg with a pencil in Mr. Oppman's physics class and had to go to the hospital. She was supposed to come with Trisha and I to help clean out the Sock'n'Buskin costume closets but because she couldn't walk, she couldn't come," she said. "Trisha and I stole a bag of identical costumes (spoiler alert: Snowblast costumes) and Trisha had me call Ali to ask her if she preferred smoothies or ice cream. Ali didn't recognize my voice on the phone and she was shocked when we showed up at her house with a smoothie. She hobbled down to her basement and Trisha, Ali and Alex played Japanese video games while Ali's mom dug out pictures of our preschool class. My history with Ali began in hot pink sweatpants and a turtleneck. She knew me at my most embarrassing times and I brought her smoothies for hers."

Costumes played a part in another of Pontius' memories.

"I remember going to her house last Halloween and handing out candy on her stoop," he said. "We just sat there and talked about pointless things, but it was fun and memorable all the same. Then when Trisha, Liz and Angie came over after their Scavenger Hunt we hadso much fun doing absolutely nothing."

Senior Matt Meller received a culinary critique from his friend.

"A few weeks back over Memorial weekend a bunch of people met over at Trisha's house and we ate campfire roasted corn and pet the cows and climbed around on the hay bales. While sitting around the fire roasting the corn Ali and I got into a discussion about cooking," he said. "I said I couldn't bake and she snapped back that because of my cooking deficiencies I would make a terrible grandma. To drive the point home she found a book entitled Funny, You don't look like a Grandma. But then, just to make things better, I told her she would make a horrible grandpa and she acted like she was deeply offended."

Freshman Alexis Ruppel was also lifted by Dullum.

"Trisha and Ali picked me up after a movie with my friend and I was upset but they made me laugh and smile the whole time I was with them," she said. "Then, just to make things more random and fun we had coffee popsicles!"

Michels knows his days will be missing that unexpected blast of activity.

"I wish we could have hung out more, she was a great friend and Spanish buddy," he said. "I'm going to miss her so much. I'll even miss getting pushed into my locker by her when she walked by."

Dullum knew how to make the best of any situation, according to senior Kevin Toddish.

"During the summer of sophomore year, I was at Ali's house and we wanted to go swimming but neither of us had swim suits. So to recreate the experience we went to her backyard and filled up a kiddie pool with water from the hose and stuck our feet in," he said. "After awhile the water turned green and we couldn't see the bottom of the 5" pool and then it went dark brown and was disgusting and smelt. Moral of the story, neither Ali nor I liked rusty water…"

Competition, according to Mulvey, was relative for Dullum.

"In Spanish class we would always do terrible on our tests and she would do better than me by just a little bit, which was sort of a joke since I speak spanish at home," she said.

Dullum could be an instigator, according to senior Isaac Everett.

"We met in AP US history review and after a couple of questions Ali and I started to be bored and off task. We made some jokes and then she started drawing on my arm," he said. "There were some hearts and butterflies and random pictures. We got to laughing so loud and hard that Mr. Britton stopped the review session and said 'Isaac and the people around you could you please stop talking, you're distracting me.' We quieted down but every review session afterwards my arm always got covered with pen."

Ruppel will miss the promise of good times.

"One time Ali, Trisha, my friend and I went to the Appleton mall to go shopping and the whole time there we blasted the music and just had fun," she said. "Ali was always good for fun."

Martinez will never forget the role t-shirts played in her friend's fashion ensemble.

"I remember the 'name game' in Mr. Levine's pre-calc class where we had to stand up and say our name and something interesting about ourselves," she said. "I can still see her standing up and saying 'Hi, my name is Ali and I have a dinosaur on my shirt.'"

Senior Dakota Schneider recalls a summer road trip with Dullum that will never be forgotten.

"We went to the Chicago Field Museum dressed as pirates. Our motley crew composed of Ali, myself, Trisha, Liz and Kevin. At the exhibit people thought we were in it, groups kept asking us for photographs," he said. "Afterwards while eating, Ali had the glorious idea to make our peanut buttter sandwiches, for lack of better utensils, with the top of her water bottle. That day will always be one of the best ever."

Everyone has their own personal story about Ali, but the most amazing thing about her was that she could fit in anywhere. She was, like the title of one of the songs played at her funeral, truly "unforgettable."

"Getting to know her for so long has been the highlight of my life, said Pontius. "Forgetting her would take Alzheimer's disease."

Ali was my best friend and I know that despite the distance between us now, she is laughing her butt off at me with every stupid move I make. Ali and I had almost too much fun together, be it straightening Dakota Schneider's hair, planning a whole summer of road trips on one afternoon or just piling onto a chair to talk. However, as I had once affectionately told her, she will always be my 'other boyfriend' and I'll have always been her 'first'.

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photo courtesy of Trisha Himmler

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